love's bitch

...but man enough to admit it.

this here is a shout-out to everybody's favorite bad boy, William the Bloody a.k.a. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

First of all, Spike is fucking hot. Second of all, the actor who plays him is really, really talented, and manages to turn a fairly one-dimensional villain into an amazingly complex, interesting character. Third of all, Spike's got a sexy (if unlikely) British accent. And finally, Spike is utterly bent. And while I hate, hate, hate the way Buffy responds to their sexual relationship (she is disgusted with herself), I love love love the kinky subtext therein. Below are some of my favorite bits of dialogue, found from transcripts on Buffyology.

SPIKE: Can we talk?
BUFFY: Vocal-cord-wise, yes. With each other? No.(She moves off.)
SPIKE: We have to talk.
BUFFY: About what?
SPIKE: We kissed, Buffy.
SPIKE: We kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music and the rising... music and what was that, Buffy?
BUFFY: A spell?
SPIKE: Oh, don't get all prim and proper with me. I know what kind of girl you really are. Don't I?

SPIKE: Oh, poor little lost girl.
(He jumps up and grabs the chandelier, swinging forward and kicking Buffy full in the face with both feet. She goes down.)
SPIKE: She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love.
(Buffy seizes him and throws him against the staircase, smashing the banister to bits.)
BUFFY: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in?
(Spike swings at her but she ducks and gut-punches him, then hurls him across the room again. He smashes into the fireplace and collapses in a heap.)
BUFFY: Your job is to kill the Slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes.
SPIKE: I'm in love with you.
BUFFY: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?
SPIKE: Hello? Vampire!
(He swings at her again but she blocks and punches him. Spike grabs her and pulls her closer.)
SPIKE: I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side.
(He throws her against the wall, smashing a huge Buffy-shaped hole in it. Spike throws her across the room and she lands on her back. Spike stands over her, leans down and seizes her by her jacket lapels.)
SPIKE: What's your excuse?

BUFFY: Shoe, need my shoe.
SPIKE: What's the hurry, luv?
(Spike looks very pleased with himself.)
BUFFY: The hurry is I left Dawn all night. And don't call me love.
SPIKE: You didn't seem to take issue with that last night. Or with any of the other little nasties we whispered.
BUFFY: Can we not talk?
SPIKE: (sighs) I just don't see why you have to run off so quick. Thought we could...
(He makes a lewd gesture.)
BUFFY: Not gonna happen. Last night was the end of this freak show.
(Buffy heads out but Spike catches her arm and pulls her down onto his lap.)
SPIKE: Don't say that.
BUFFY: What did you think was going to happen? What? We're going to read the newspaper together, play footsie under the rubble?
(Spike slips his hand under Buffy's skirt and she shudders with pleasure.)
SPIKE: Not exactly what I had in mind.
(Buffy pushes his hand away and struggles against him.)
BUFFY: Stop!
SPIKE(grinning): Make me.
BUFFY: No! No!
(She continues struggling, then gives up and kisses him passionately. She wraps her arms around him, grinds against him and moans with pleasure. Then she abruptly breaks off.)
BUFFY: No, no. I have to--
SPIKE: Stay. I'm stuck here. Sun's up.
(Buffy regards Spike for a moment, then gives in and goes back to kissing him. Spike lays her down on a pillow and moves on top of her, kissing her neck. She sighs in excitement.)
SPIKE: I knew. I knew the only thing better than killing a Slayer would be fu--
BUFFY: What!
(Buffy shoves him away and stands, furious.)
BUFFY: Is that what this is about? Doing a Slayer?
SPIKE: Well, I wouldn't throw stones, pet. You seem to be quite the groupie yourself.
BUFFY: Shut up.
(She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, disgusted.)
SPIKE: I'm just sayin'... vampires get you hot.
BUFFY: A vampire got me hot. One. But he's gone. You're just... (beat) You're just convenient.
(That gets to him. Angry, Spike stands and pulls on his pants.)
SPIKE: So what now? You go back to treating me like dirt till the next time you get an itch you can't scratch? Well, forget it. Last night changed things. I'm done being your whipping boy.
BUFFY: Nothing's changed. It was a mistake.
SPIKE: Bollocks! It was a bloody revelation. You can act as high and mighty as you like but I know where you live now, Slayer. I've tasted it.
(He leans in to kiss her again but she pulls away from him.)
BUFFY: Get a grip. Like you're god's gift.
SPIKE: Hardly. Wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?
(Buffy pushes him away and starts to walk out but he blocks her.)
BUFFY: No! Let me go!
(Spike puts his arms around her and calms her. Buffy stands still, glaring at him.)
SPIKE: I may be dirt but you're the one who likes to roll in it, Slayer. You never had it so good as me. Never.
(Buffy shrugs his arms off.)
BUFFY: You're bent.
SPIKE: Yeah and it made you scream, didn't it?
BUFFY: I swear to god, if you tell anyone about last night, I will kill you.
SPIKE(skeptical): Right.
(Spike pulls a pair of lacy white panties out of his jeans.)
SPIKE: ...You're going to want these, too.

Ha! Yeah, I'm a geek, I know.

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